When I was ten, my elementary school recommended that I go to counseling. I didn’t know why; I still don’t. All I knew is that one evening a week, we’d drive to Dr. G’s small office, which was attached to her suburban house. My mother would wait in the car as I sat on Dr. G’s cream-colored couch, feeling bewildered. Dr. G had a kind face and a tired voice, and she’d ask me vague questions about my week. “It was fine,” I’d murmur because I didn’t know what else to say. Nor did I wish to reflect with a stranger. The 45 minutes seemed interminable, long silences punctuated by brief exchanges about movies. I was grateful when, after a few months, the sessions ended. Was I cured, and from what? Did I learn self-soothing techniques or develop a stronger self-esteem? No. I simply stopped going.
Therapy for children has evolved since the 1980s. Certainly, there are more choices of well-researched therapeutic approaches. And bibliotherapy has advanced too! The books I read in my youth didn’t provide models of transformational therapeutic interactions. I will highlight three contemporary middle-grade titles that incorporate best-practice models into their storylines. These books provide comfort to the child reader in therapy and normalize the idea of treatment. They can also be used as a jumping-off point for meaningful dialogue about therapy between parent-child and therapist-child.
Sara and the Search for Normal by Wesley King introduces the reader to Sara, a vulnerable young girl with multiple diagnoses. Sara, who’s been bullied and ostracized by her peers, desperately wishes to blend in with her classmates. To that end, she’s crafted a list of “normal” behaviors to emulate. She consistently feels like a failure when she cannot meet her self-imposed standards. In the book’s early pages, the reader meets Dr. Ring. Right away, we get a portrayal of a skilled therapist who wants his clients to take “ownership of their therapy.”
He provides Sara with matter-of-fact information about her diagnoses. In group therapy, he presents discussion topics ranging from silence as a coping strategy to effective communication to support systems. He maintains an empathetic stance throughout and clear goals: to help Sara accept herself, understand and appreciate her thought patterns, and value her differences. We see Dr. Ring in action, but we also see Sara integrating his lessons as she discards her false belief that she must achieve “normalcy” to love herself.
In The List of Things that Will Not Change by Rebecca Stead, the author weaves anecdotes from the past with present scenes to show how Bea’s therapist, Miriam, establishes and
maintains trust. Bea began therapy when her parents divorced, and her worries grew. Miriam takes time to build rapport, allowing Bea to identify and unravel her emotions at her own pace. She also provides Bea with specific techniques, such as establishing a daily worry time, and thinking through “what ifs” to decrease rumination. The reader learns about these simple practices through Bea’s commentary and observes Bea using these skills on her own to navigate complex social dynamics and weather change. The therapeutic connection here, marked by empathy, acceptance, and tailored interventions, nourishes Bea’s resilience.
Jordan J and the Truth about Jordan J by K.A. Holt shows a therapist who is primarily off-scene, because Jordan’s family can no longer afford the weekly payment. Mo has acted as a sounding board for Jordan, for all of “the ideas and thoughts and worries in my head.” Throughout the book, Jordan confides to “MindMo” when he’s stressed, disappointed, or flooded. Because Mo has been so validating throughout their relationship, even writing to her helps Jordan interrogate his feelings. And in the few scenes where we meet the real Mo, we hear her ask open-ended questions that encourage Jordan’s metacognition and help him deepen his emotional vocabulary.
I would have found these three books both illuminating and soothing as a child going through therapy. They would have clarified my role as the client, and the therapist’s role in trying to help me, likely giving me a path to incorporate some of the skills Dr. G may have been trying to impart.
When I became an occupational therapist, I found myself drawn to child-centered, play-based techniques. At the same time, I realized that my sessions should provide children with tools they could use in the “real world.” They should know what we’re working on together.
For the professional, these books model deep listening and purposeful interventions. They illustrate how children can learn specific coping skills and reflect candidly on their progress. Children in therapy know that they struggle. They need to be met where they are with empathy and skill to explore the nature of their challenges and how to navigate their world. Self-acceptance grows with openness, not the avoidance and secrecy that I remember from my childhood encounters with therapy.
Andie Levinger did her undergraduate studies at Pomona College, attained a Masters in occupational therapy at New York University, and an MFA in Writing for Children & Young Adults at the Vermont College of Fine Arts. She was born in Honduras to American Peace Corps Volunteers and grew up in the NYC Tri-State area. She has a life-long love of literature and writing and has never once regretted investing in a book. Her OT work has been in educational settings, mostly in elementary schools. She lives in Manhattan with her husband, who she met in a writing class, and has a son in college and a daughter who's college-bound this fall.